


Bloom Where You Are Planted

by thehimawari (helianthaes)



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, College, Friends to Lovers, Hanahaki Disease, High School, M/M, Pining, Romance, a blend of canon and AU where MANKAI exists but events play out slightly differently, very minor references to part 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:40:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23457958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helianthaes/pseuds/thehimawari
Summary: That was the type of existence they were in each other’s lives. To Tsuzuru, Kazunari was nothing short of a wild whirlwind he could scarcely keep up with. But to Kazunari, Tsuzuru was steady, right at the fringes of his sight where he knew he could always run to. And the other would be there just the same. Always.And that existence somehow made his breath feel light, then suffocated, in a way he could not explain.
Relationships: Minagi Tsuzuru/Miyoshi Kazunari
Comments: 14
Kudos: 88





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hanahaki? In my A3! AU? It's more likely than you think!
> 
> I haven't written a proper fanfic in literally 5 years so this is going to be a wild ride for the both of us.  
> But this idea struck me and I had to do it. You know, for my boys.
> 
> Any support means the world to me, thanks! And happy reading!

If you asked Miyoshi Kazunari, he would say he and Minagi Tsuzuru were friends. Well then again, Kazunari was the type of guy who would say hi to you once in the hallway and then next time you meet, he’d have his arm around you introducing you as best buds. And that overly-friendly attitude of his actually became quite infamous around Fuko High.

However, if it were anyone else, the scene currently unfolding in the corner of the second floor homeroom classroom would look anything less than genial—what with the excitable third-year clinging and hanging off his increasingly exasperated-looking underclassman for the umpteenth time that year. “Come on, Tsuzuroon! Share your lunch with me! I slept in today and totally forgot to bring mine!”

“Like I said, can you stop with that nickname!?” The second-year student sighed and ran a tired hand through his dark brown locks, “plus, why don’t you just buy something from the school cafeteria?” The boy couldn’t help but sigh, weakly swatting away the senior’s hand reaching towards the boxed lunch sitting on his desk. Tsuzuru thought back to when this had all started: he had helped the other once near the beginning of the year. If he remembered correctly, back then it was break time and Tsuzuru was walking back to his classroom from the school library when he noticed the ashy blonde boy limping a bit in front of him as he too made his way down the hallway. Tsuzuru was immediately alarmed but quickly realized the source was from a blister—evidenced by the noticeable blossoming red spot on the back of the other’s heel. And unable to resist his brotherly instinct, Tsuzuru smoothly offered the other boy a bandaid he always kept in his pocket.

That was it.

Simple, straightforward, and pretty much what anyone else in that situation would do, really. He expected his schoolmate to just forget about it and move on, _really_. So that’s why Tsuzuru never could have imagined that one simple gesture would lead to _this_. “ _Kazunari-senpai—_ "

“Tsuzuroon, don’t be so cold!!” Kazunari cut off his complaint with a pout, “actually… I’m low on cash right now since I splurged at that new café on Veludo way, ahaha.” He winked, “you know how it is, right? OOH, let me show you the pics I took! The pancakes were totes Instablammable—" And without warning, a screen was thrust right in front of the weary younger student’s eyes, blinding him with a flurry of sickeningly bright colours.

“Augh—ok, ok I can see that!” Tsuzuru nudged the phone away and Kazunari leaned back, smile still painted on his face as he opened up a recent message, deftly thumbed a reply and hit send. “Oh, and make sure to give me a like later, ok?”

Tsuzuru sat back in his chair and rubbed his temple, feeling the telltale beginnings of a headache coming on. “I don’t get it. You’re a year above me yet you’re always randomly popping by whenever you want. Don’t you have other friends to bother?”

Undeterred by younger’s mildly annoyed tone, Kazunari merely clicked his tongue and glanced up from his screen like it was obvious, “but you’re my friend too, Tsuzuroon!”

“And why me?”

“Because you’re a great guy.” Tsuzuru blinked up at the other in surprise. No, it was definitely not the answer he was expecting to hear and no, it also certainly wasn’t the reason a small smile started to unconsciously tug at the corner of his lips.

“W-well then,” Tsuzuru cleared his throat and averted his eyes, “I guess I packed a little more than usual… If f-fried rice is ok with you.” The second-year glanced back from under his messy bangs and didn’t miss the way Kazunari’s emerald eyes lit up at the offer.

“Sick!! Chef Tsuzuroon to the rescue!! I knew you’d have the best food!”

“Again with the nicknam—wait, don’t tell me you said all that just for my cooking!?”

“ _Shhh_ , no take-backsies,” the senior winked with a teasing glint in his eyes, “now… Pass the chopsticks, Tsuzuroon!”

* * *

That was the type of existence they were in each other’s lives. To Tsuzuru, Kazunari was nothing short of a wild whirlwind he could scarcely keep up with. But to Kazunari, Tsuzuru was steady, right at the fringes of his sight where he knew he could always run to. And the other would be there just the same. Always.

And that existence somehow made his breath feel light, then suffocated, in a way he could not explain.

* * *

“Seriously, don’t you have _any_ other friends you could bother instead?”

“Come on, keep me company for a bit will ya?” Kazunari beamed as he dragged Tsuzuru by the arm up the empty staircase and past the heavy doors to the high school’s rooftop. Tsuzuru winced at the sudden flood of sunlight and brought a hand up to shield his eyes.

“Isn’t this like… against the school rules?”

“Does it really count as breaking the rules if no one else finds out?” Kazunari smirked in response before he turned on his heel to toss something out to his schoolmate. Tsuzuru instinctively reached out to catch, fumbling a bit with his hands before he successfully gripped the small object and held it up.

“Milk?” Tsuzuru eyed the blue carton in his hand skeptically.

“Compensation—for lending me your ear,” Kazunari laughed before he trodded over to the side, flopping down before he leaned back into the tall chain link fence behind him. He patted the spot beside him as an invitation. Tsuzuru merely shrugged and sat down where he was told, piercing the small foil opening on the carton with his straw and taking a sip. The two sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, drinks in hand as their matching emerald eyes gazed at the cloudless blue sky above them. A warm breeze blew by, ruffling both students' hair before Kazunari finally broke the calm silence. “So… Graduation is around the corner, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“Will you miss me?”

“You? Please.”

“That’s mean, Tsuzuroon!” Kazunari gasped, placing a scandalized hand over his mouth as he turned to face his younger friend. But instead of the unimpressed look he expected to get in response, this time there was a faint smile gracing Tsuzuru’s lips, one that made the air around them feel a little warmer.

“So, have your grand future all planned out yet?” Tsuzuru meant it teasingly but froze when he realized he was met with a beat of silence. “…Ah, Kazu—"

“Ahaha, well… That’s the thing…,” Kazunari finally replied, trying his best to keep his tone light as he scratched the back of his head. “I’m still… Undecided.”

Tsuzuru frowned, tilting his head back against the fence as he paused in thought. _The Miyoshi Kazunari? Undecided?_ Those words simply didn’t fit together. He bit his lip, hesitantly treading forward. His senpai bought him a drink for his thoughts after all. “But aren’t you amazing at painting? I honestly thought it’d be a no brainer you’d enter into an arts university.”

“Hmmm, I think that’s the first time you’ve ever complimented me,” Kazunari pursed his lips.

“And the last if you keep this up,” Tsuzuru sighed, knocking his knuckle against the other’s head. Kazunari pouted and rubbed at the sore spot.

“ _Rude_.” But he smiled nonetheless, taking a long sip and finishing his drink. “Well, thanks anyways. I’m still glad to hear it, haha.” Then his voice trailed off slightly, “but yeah… it’s not that simple…” Kazunari peered up hesitantly from under his light bangs, only to meet a soft gaze that was unyieldingly patient, and coaxed him to go on. These were the eyes that Kazunari had been searching for when he dragged the other out that day. “Well… I’d love to apply as an art major, and my parents would be supportive of my decision too… But it’s my extended family… Let’s just say they think _stability is the way to go_.” Kazunari chuckled but there was no hint of playfulness. “I _know_ I shouldn’t care about what they think but… Sometimes I wonder if they have a point… ‘cept on the other hand, I don’t want to regret my choices… So yeah, it’s, um… conflicting,” he finished lamely, twisting the now empty milk carton in his hand. He refused to look up, hoping the other boy would simply get the gist before he rambled on any further.

Tsuzuru hummed in reply, “hmmm, that’s tough. I think I understand though. As for me, I—well… Ah, never mind—”

Kazunari’s ears perked up at that, “oh? _You_ already have some grand future plan for yourself or something?”

“I-it’s not important!” But the way the tips of Tsuzuru’s ears glowed red signalled otherwise. The previous heavy air around them dissipated as Kazunari couldn’t help but eye the younger cheekily.

“Ehh, don’t say that! I want to hear it too—Tsuzuroon’s dream!! Please?” Tsuzuru really wished he had just kept his mouth shut as he tried to look away from his upperclassman’s puppy-dog gaze, failing miserably and feeling his resolve wither away pathetically.

“Ahh, well fine. If you insist. But promise you won’t laugh.” Kazunari nodded immediately, twinkling eyes never leaving the other. “Actually, I… I want to be a playwright.” Tsuzuru squeezed his eyes shut, bracing himself for the burst of laughter that he was for some reason sure was coming. But after a few moments of silence, he slowly cracked open an eye. And the expression that met his blew away all expectations.

“Tsuzuroon, wow… I never would’ve guessed,” Kazunari’s breath slowed, but that didn’t stop the genuine smile from spreading across his face. Actually, thinking back to all the times he would pass the younger in the hallway with a stack of books in his hands, the times he passed the other focused diligently at a table in the library for hours on end—messily scribbled in notebooks strewn before him—Kazunari couldn’t help but think, “actually you know what, that actually makes sense.” And after another pause, “it really suits you.”

“R-really? You think?” It was Tsuzuru’s turn to become awkwardly bashful, scratching the back of his head as he willed away the creeping heat flooding his cheeks. “T-thanks, ahaha. Although it’s going to be a hard road to take as well.”

“What do you mean?”

“A-ah, well…,” Tsuzuru sighed, “let’s just say I have my own family situation too… The truth is my family is not that well off and I still have my seven little brothers to take care of so maybe it’ll be hard for me to afford university…” Kazunari frowned but kept his comments to himself, prompting the other to continue. Tsuzuru shot him a grateful look. “But even though I’m saying that… it might all just be excuses.” The brunette’s hands fell to his lap, followed by his gaze. “The truth is… I don’t want to give up, not yet. Even if I have to work five part-time jobs at a time, or take out those dreaded student loans, or whatever it takes— _I want to do it_. I’ve spent my whole life dedicated to my family, and of course I’ll still be there for them, but… at the end of the day, I still have this goal of mine and mine alone.” Tsuzuru paused again and turned to face his friend, not daring to look away this time, “if I said that I wanted to achieve it no matter what, would you think I’m selfish?”

Kazunari’s chest clenched uncomfortably tight. “No, not at all.”

At that, Tsuzuru’s frame visibly relaxed. He flashed his friend a knowing look, “yeah, me neither. So do what you want, ok? Do what you want to do, for you, and not for anyone else. If it’s you Kazunari, then anything in the world is possible.” Another breeze fluttered by and along with the sight of Tsuzuru smiling down at him against the afternoon sun, Kazunari felt a new wind beginning to blow at his back.

“Aww man!!! I was right!!” Kazunari suddenly yelled, breaking eye contact as he brought up his knees to bury his face into his hands.

“H-huh?” Tsuzuru jumped back in surprise at the unexpected outburst. His hands flailed around a bit as he wondered if he had said something wrong after all. But before his mind could race away any further, Kazunari let out a deep sigh and turned his face so that his gaze was just peeking out from underneath his splayed fingertips.

“You really are a great guy.”

“ _H-hah!?_ W-what are you saying now?”

“Heh, _nothing, nothing_ ,” Kazunari chuckled under his breath. He sat back up, stretching his arms above his head as his signature smirk finally returned to his face. “Well as your senpai, I can’t lose to you now can I?”

“In what way??” And Tsuzuru couldn’t help but feel the usual headache coming back as well, but this time he couldn’t say he minded it.

“Now that you’ve seen my lame side, I gotta work harder and show you how cool I can be,” Kazunari winked, making the boy beside him roll his eyes.

“I think you’re fine just the way you are,” Tsuzuru quipped offhandedly, shaking his head. He missed the way his senpai’s gaze flickered down shyly at that.

“Thanks, Tsuzuroon,” Kazunari whispered, and he meant it. “As I thought, you were the right one to turn to…” His voice then drifted off, so much so that he was practically talking to himself, “you always are.”

“Ah, did you say something?”

“Hmm, nope!” Kazunari snapped back immediately and held his hands up to his face. “Anyways, thanks Tsuzuroon! _Say_ , since we just barred our souls to each other, this calls for a commemorative shot! A celebration of the deepening of our friendship!” And before Tsuzuru could protest, Kazunari was already scooching over until the pair were pressed flush against each other. Kazunari linked their arms together as he held his other arm up with the lens of his phone camera already expertly aimed down at the two of them.

“H-huh, n-now? Hold on, I’m not ready--!!”

_*click*_

* * *

If you asked Miyoshi Kazunari, he would say that it was from that moment on his perpetual cough began.

* * *

After that day, the two rarely had the chance to meet up again. University entrance exam preparations completely took over Kazunari’s already packed schedule (not that he minded because believe it or not, he actually quite enjoyed studying). However, that of course meant he had significantly less time—and excuses—to hop down to the second floor to the second classroom to nag his favourite second year.

But the pair understood. Tsuzuru would still look up from his notes to give Kazunari a head nod whenever he walked by the library. And Kazunari would, without fail, always wave with his paint stained fingers to Tsuzuru whenever he happened to pass by the art room as well.

And before they knew it, time has passed by in a flurry and Kazunari found himself now standing amongst a group of his friends as they all congratulated each other on their graduation day. “Kazuuu, I can’t believe you’re leaving us for an arts university—and taking traditional Japanese art, to boot! Can’t say we expected that!” One of his friends complained, throwing an arm around his shoulder. Kazunari shook his head and smirked.

“What can I say? I was told to do what I wanted to do and this is what I chose.”

“Ehh, look at you trying to sound all cool!” His friend laughed and roughly ruffled his hair.

“Hey, hey!! Do you know how long it took to style that this morning?” Kazunari whined, but felt a playful smile blossoming nonetheless, “make sure you guys still visit me, ‘kay?” The group around him nodded and as they went back to their excitable chit-chat, something caught the corner of Kazunari’s eyes. The boy turned his head, only so spot a familiar head of dark brown hair coming into focus and melting away all others. He was a ways away, half obscured by the crowd, but Kazunari spotted him clear as ever.

It wasn’t uncommon for students from lower grades to show up on graduation day as well—especially if they had older friends they wanted to say goodbye to. It dawned on Kazunari that Tsuzuru hadn’t mentioned anything to him in particular so the writer must’ve had someone else to visit—a senpai from the same writing club perhaps. The art student couldn’t help but pout, and was about to step away to call out to the boy when something made all previous thoughts halt in their place and rendered him motionless in his tracks.

Against the backdrop of the blossoming cherry blossom trees around them, Tsuzuru smiled. Although Kazunari had seen his smile many times already, this time it was different. It might’ve been due to the way the sunlight delicately hit the rain of coral petals fluttering down, or the way the other boy’s eyes crinkled up at the corners in a way he had never seen before, but suddenly Kazunari’s chest felt tight—unbearably tight—and he could do nothing but take in the sight before him as it became harder and harder to breathe until—

Kazunari began to cough.

He noticed he had developed a mild cough a few months back but thought nothing of it—perhaps it was just springtime allergies or maybe the stress of exams was getting to him… But this time it was different. This time there was an incessant itch rooted deep inside his lungs and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t the stop the burning. Now nearly doubled over with a hand over his mouth, a few of his friends noticed his condition and jogged over with looks of concern. “Hey Kazu, you ok there?”

“Here, take my water!”

Kazunari nodded gratefully, turning away to finish the last of his coughs as the strange sensation was thankfully beginning to subside. Kazunari took a moment to take a few deep, shaky breaths before he removed his hand from his face, only to notice something rather peculiar. Kazunari blinked once, twice, as if not believing his eyes, but it was definitely there; a rather large petal was sitting in the palm of his hand. Could it be a cherry blossom petal? It was a delicate pink colour like the branches filled with flowers above them, but yet, this petal looked far too large to be from the same kind. Kazunari furrowed his eyebrows in confusion as he stared on for a little longer. But he was brought back to the present as a friend reached out to pat him on the back. “You good?”

“Huh? Y-yeah, sorry. I guess it’s allergies?” Kazunari eased with a flustered look. His friends’ eyes flickered between each other and then to him for a second, but they shrugged it off and pulled out their phones. “Alright, if you say so… We’re taking a group selfie so let’s hurry before the good spots are taken!”

“’Kay! Sounds cool!” Kazunari flashed a peace sign and ran with them, the large petal from before floating down from his palm, all but forgotten until another springtime rolled by.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and stay safe, everyone ♡


	2. Chapter 2

First year flew by in a flash for Kazunari. Honestly, he was a bit nervous at first at the prospect of attending an arts university—there was always that nagging doubt in the back of his mind about his ultimate decision and even doubt about his own abilities to succeed in this field as a whole. But after the first month or so, he quickly got the hang of things and even managed to make a rather large group of what he’d call friends from his class (even if he _did_ have to fake it to make it here and there…). And before Kazunari knew it, he had settled into a familiar routine: living and working—pulling grueling all-nighters—from one exciting project to another.

And he wouldn’t have had it any other way.

It was as if he had finally found his calling, and his life was finally falling into place one brush stroke on canvas at a time.

Overall, things were going well. But if he had to say, there was _one_ thing he was a bit miffed about. As the spring semester began to wind down, he heard through the old grapevine that his favourite kouhai, Tsuzuru, had indeed chosen to attend university.

_Yay!_

However, he applied for Yosei University, not Veludo Arts.

_Boo!_

“Wait, are you serious? Why is Tsuzuroon going there!? Veludo Arts has a great writing program too!!”

Kazunari’s old classmate simply shook his head and shrugged, “beats me, man. That’s just what I heard. Why don’t you ask him yourself? Weren’t you guys close?”

Kazunari opened his mouth to reply but promptly shut it, sitting back down in his seat at the café. He laughed awkwardly, readjusting the customary black cap on his head, “ahaha, well you see… I got a new phone after I graduated and I dunno what happened… but hmm, all my contacts got deleted and I then got _super_ busy with all my deadlines and projects that I didn’t even have time to think about it! And, and…,” the art student trailed off slowly. He fell silent for a moment before suddenly clasping his hands together with his eyes squeezed shut. “ _Pleeease_ , can you give me Tsuzuroon’s contact info!? It was an accident, I swear!! And now it’s been too long so it’s too awkward to reach out myself and _ugh_ …,” Kazunari sighed in defeat, deflating further into his seat at the thought of the spiraling scenario. Unfortunately, all Kazunari got in reply was a shake of his classmate’s head.

“Sorry dude can’t help you here. I don’t have it either—me and Minagi were never close or anything. I just heard all this from a friend who heard from a friend, you know?”

“UGH! This legit sucks!” Kazunari whined, head falling forward and smacking into his hands against the table. His friend gave him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.

“I see… Even though you’ve already graduated, you’re still as attached as ever, huh?”

“H-huh, what no—,” Kazunari quickly lifted his head from where it was faceplanted next to his coffee. He blinked in thought for a moment before frowning.

“ _Right_ …,” his old classmate nodded skeptically, “well anyways I was about to say, my friends and I are holding a mixer next week. How about you tag along? Those are always fun, right? Think of it as my repentance for, uh… _this_ ….,” the confused male gestured towards the art student’s current sour expression. Kazunari took a moment to contemplate the offer before flashing a light grin.

“Mmm, I guess that sounds fun. Thanks, fam! Send me the info over LIME later, ok?”

“Will do, dude, will do.”

* * *

It was not that Kazunari was looking for a relationship per se; it was more that he found mixers to be a great way to meet a variety of people and expand his social circle.

Plus, hey, you never knew. Right?

Except the truth was for the past year, love had been the farthest thing on Kazunari’s mind. His schedule had been so packed he scarcely had time for himself, let alone anyone else. And whenever his thoughts did absentmindedly drift off towards the topic of romance, or he took a stab in the dark to try to imagine what it would be like to start dating one his classmates around him, that stubborn, burning cough that developed nearly a year ago would flair up again without fail, leaving him winded.

That strange correlation puzzled him deeply, but he figured that the best way to prevent it was simply to ignore those types of thoughts altogether. And it worked for the most part. He had learned how to manage it, and some day it would surely naturally go away.

Or so he thought.

* * *

“Hey Kazu!! Over here!!” Kazunari’s head whipped around at the sound of his name as he entered the bar. Spotting his old classmate waving to him from a table in the back, he nodded back with a bright smile and weaved his way around the bustling floor to their spot. When he reached it, he realized that the table was nearly full already with the guys sitting on one side and the girls the other.

“Ah sorry, am I late?” Kazunari took his phone out his pocket to check the time.

“No, no, not at all!” One of the girls reassured and gestured for him to sit. He took the offer and eased into his seat, flashing everyone a playful wink. Kazunari scanned the table once again after getting settled down and noticed one of the spots beside him was still vacant.

“Hmmm, is the last guy running late?”

“Ah,” it was his old classmate who replied. He cleared his throat, “one of the guys we called bailed so we had to pull some desperate strings last minute. I heard the replacement isn’t really into stuff like this so we’re honestly waiting to see if he’ll even show up.” Kazunari pursed his lips in understanding.

“Ahh, one of _those guys_. Well, it’s fine! I brought some—”

“—Augh, sorry guys!! I slept in by accident and then I missed the bus so then I had to run here and…”

Kazunari froze the moment he heard that voice behind him. That soft, familiar voice—always earnest, but trailed off easily whenever he was flustered or tired, or both—that voice that Kazunari could never mistake no matter where or when he heard it. That voice, that made his chest clench so, so tight.

His heart began accelerating dangerously and sure he was nervous, but Kazunari was even more excited than he ever thought he would be to hear that voice for the first time in what felt like forever. He quickly whipped around in his spot, only to beam even brighter like sunshine as he called out, “ _TSUZUROON!!_ ”

The other boy already looked utterly flustered with his green hoodie disheveled and a thin sheen of sweat collecting at his brow from his impromptu run, but his expression became even more frazzled at the sight of the man sitting just in front of him. “K-Kazunari-s-senpai!?” He stuttered, and then another thought interrupted, “wait—STILL WITH THAT NICKNAME!?”

“Ahaha! That’s the first thing you have to say to me after not seeing each other in forever?”

“More like that’s the first thing you call me even after forever??”

“Oh, come on—isn’t it cute? It suits you!”

“H-HOW AM I CUTE!?”

“Now, now, settle down guys,” a third voice suddenly interjected into the pair’s long-awaited reunion. Both men turned their heads towards Kazunari’s old classmate who was staring at them with a look of amused recognition in his eye. “Minagi? It’s really Minagi, right? Thanks for coming! To think that pulling this favour from a friend of a friend… of a friend… Would lead to these turn of events! You know, Kazunari over there was just whining about you a while ago, haha. Anyways, take a seat!”

“You were just talking about me?” The weary writer glanced between the host and Kazunari and let out a deep sigh, “I knew I had a bad feeling about this.” And when Tsuzuru realized the only empty spot was beside his former upperclassman, he sighed even harder, “is it too early to go home?”

“Hey now, sit, sit!” Kazunari all but eagerly patted the stool beside him, staring up at the younger with sparkling eyes that he had not seen for the longest time. And just like always, just like he always had back in high school, Tsuzuru felt himself being swept away with the crash of the wave that always was Miyoshi Kazunari.

Once Tsuzuru was seated, Kazunari was quick to introduce him to the rest of the group. “This here is Tsuzuroon, my _very precious_ kouhai from back in high school.”

“My name is Tsuzu—”

“—Tsuzuroon is pretty shy so go easy on him, ok?” Then Kazunari clutched his friend’s arm a little too eagerly and winked. The girls on the other side of the table giggled between each other and Tsuzuru closed his eyes.

“To think I was so close to the sweet, sweet taste of freedom…”

* * *

And with that, the mixer got under way. There was some excitable chatter going on amongst the group, but Kazunari barely noticed at all. The original purpose of the meet-up was all but lost to him as Kazunari spent the entire time completely focused on catching up with the coffee-haired boy sitting next to him. The girls on the other side of the table were a bit peeved at the lack of attention, but the art student could care less as he continued to bombard Tsuzuru with a stream of never-ending questions from their time apart. “So why Yosei? Why not Veludo Arts?? We could’ve been classmates again, dude! That would’ve been iconic!”

Tsuzuru sighed, downing the rest of his soda on the table. Well, honestly Tsuzuru had no interest in joining in with the rest of the group anyways so he supposed he could give in to his senpai’s interrogation. “I thought about it but considering my situation, it didn’t seem possible choosing such expensive private school. Yosei suits my needs well enough.” Tsuzuru then felt a frown forming at his lips, “anyways, I’m a bit surprised, Kazunari-senpai.”

“Kazu.”

“Huh?”

“Well, we’re both adults now and we don’t even go to the same school anymore so just call me Kazu!”

“Ah ok, sure… _Kazu_.” Kazunari flashed a crinkly-eyed grin at that, causing the younger to sputter slightly, “I-I thought you forgot all about me to be honest!! …If you cared so much, why didn’t you just message me all this time?”

“Ahaha… about that… _I……_ ”

“…”

“…”

“You _WHAT_?”

* * *

Finally, the mixer came to an end. The small group was currently standing outside the entrance of the bar, bidding the last of their giddy goodbyes before heading their separate ways home. “See ya, Kazu. If we ever need an extra… uh, we’ll consider calling you again,” his old classmate bid a quick wave.

“H-huh? Oh, yeah thanks,” Kazunari replied as he briefly turned. He spun back, only to be met with thin air. He glanced around frantically for a moment before spotting Tsuzuru’s back stalking off in what could only be an attempt to escape as soon (and stealthily) as possible. But Kazunari wasn’t going to let him escape so fast. He quickly chased after him, one hand coming up to clutch his hat while the other one reached out, “wait up, Tsuzuroon!! Let me get your number!! I’ll spam you everyday this time, I promise!!! Wait... don’t run even faster—!!”

* * *

“Hehe, today was a good day,” Kazunari giggled to himself as his eyes scanned over Tsuzuru’s username on his contact list for the umpteenth time that night. Kazunari coughed a little into his sleeve as he flicked off his light and walked across his bedroom to sit at the edge of his bed. He pressed the icon to open a chat.

_Hey Tsuzu~ I’m sooo hyped we met up again!!!_

_I know it was my bad the first time but I’m never losing this number again!_

_It’d be sick if we could catch up some more some time~_

_Oh sorry I’m already spamming you lol_

_But lmk :)_

And with that, Kazunari let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. As he relaxed, his mind drifted back to the bar and the events of the evening. He didn’t know what he expected. A year is a relatively short time, yet it was clear Tsuzuru had already changed in some ways.

For one, Kazunari never expected Tsuzuru to dye his hair. Granted, the change wasn’t drastic—only a few shades lighter from his previous chestnut—but nonetheless, he didn’t expect it from such a strait-laced guy. And it wasn’t just his hair, but Tsuzuru’s face and entire physique as well. The baby-fat Kazunari was accustomed to seeing had slimmed down and gave Tsuzuru a more mature appearance that suited him well. It also seemed like his kouhai had gone through one last growth spurt in their time apart.

Kazunari knew Tsuzuru was already a pretty active guy and played soccer occasionally, but now it really _showed_ in his broad shoulders and toned arms and—

— _Err_ , not that he was particularly looking or anything. _Nope_.

But as he continued to picture Tsuzuru again, Kazunari unconsciously found his heart beginning to race as one sole thought filled his mind…

 _Tsuzuru had gotten really handsome_.

As soon as he caught himself, Kazunari took a sharp inhale, skin suddenly feeling awfully hot under his collar. But a sudden jingle of his phone jolted him out of his trance. Kazunari immediately snapped up and opened the new message.

_Amazing. I read all these texts in your voice._

Kazunari grinned, face still flushed. He didn’t even need to read the name to know who it was from.

_Awww you like hearing my voice that much? :)_

_That is NOT what I meant._

The blonde boy chuckled.

_I_ _kid, I kid~_

_But isn’t it pretty late? I’m surprised you texted back so quick :oo_

_Actually, I just finished a late-night rehearsal so I was just checking my phone._

_Late night rehearsal?_

_Ah, right. I forgot to mention earlier but I’m actually part of an acting troupe now._

_Um W H A T_

_Yeah._

_AN ACTING TROUPE? LIKE STAGE? LIKE YOU’RE AN ACTOR NOW?_

_AND YOU NEVER TOLD ME?_

_TSUZUROON I AM OFFENDED_

_Omg I need all the details right now!!!!_

_Where is it???_

_Can I watch??_

_Where do I buy tickets??_

_Omg_

_Omg that’s sooo lit actor Tsuzuroon!!!_

_Tsuzuroon_

_Tsuzuroooooooooon?_

_Geez, I put my phone down for one minute and I come back to it exploding._

_You never change, do you?_

_Calm down, Kazu._

Kazunari bit his lip, tongue peeking out from the corner of his lip as he typed furiously. His heart was racing and his breaths came in shallow from excitement.

_C_ _ALM?? How can I stay calm?? That’s amazing!!!_

_Wow I never knew you wanted to act too!_

_I thought it was just scripts_

_Haha yeah, well, a lot of things happened and it just turned out this way._

_I’ll tell you all about it next time!_

Kazunari’s eyed widened at the words ‘next time’. If his face wasn’t steaming before, it certainly was now at the fact a next meeting was promised to happen—and initiated by Tsuzuru no less. As delighted as he was, unexplainably, Kazunari’s chest began to clench painfully and he brought a hand up to clutch at it.

Suddenly, the screen on his phone lit up again as another notification came in and caught his attention. “H-huh? T-Tsuzu?” Kazunari thought the conversation was finished for the night, but it was indeed one final message from the younger.

_Oh and… I just wanted to say… I’m also glad we got to reconnect again today._

_Honestly, when you stopped messaging me back then I was kind of worried… But I’m glad you’re doing well._

_Ah, sorry, I thought writing it out would be less embarrassing but… I guess my point is I know I complain a lot but…_

_I’m still glad to hear from you. So, don’t worry about it._

_Ok, I have an early start tomorrow so good night._

_Talk to you later, Kazunari :)_

Kazunari’s eyes flickered back and forth, scanning the lines over and over again as if not believing what he was reading, yet also trying to commit them to heart. His mind was spinning a mile a minute at the flood of emotions that were swelling and growing and threatening to overwhelm him.

However, the moment was short-lived as just as quick a sudden, sharp pain bloomed from within him, piercing through his chest and rocking him to the core.

The pain was immense—more painful than anything he had ever experienced before. And then the coughing began, which somehow only fueled the flames licking and clawing at his lungs from the inside.

Kazunari lurched forward and crumpled to the floor, one arm still supporting him against his mattress as his entire frame hunched over, desperately gasping for air against his violent heaves.

And as if a dam had been broken, what had been choking him deep in his throat finally broke through and Kazunari could do nothing but succumb to the surge that overtook him.

* * *

Frantic footsteps were heard heading towards the bedroom. “Kazu-nii, are you ok?! I heard something fall over and—” Kazunari’s little sister, who had heard a commotion, came rushing over and swung open the door.

With a gasp, she froze, one hand coming up to cover her mouth. Nothing could have prepared her for the sight that met her in the sliver of light that flooded into the dark room.

There in the center of the room was Kazunari, back to the door as he lay slumped over a pool of crimson petals strewn all over the floor before him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO SORRY for the delay!!!
> 
> I don't know why I decided to start this fic right before finals started... lol but I am free at last and and this is gonna get done!!
> 
> Hope you're all staying safe and well, and thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

“These here are hibiscus flower petals.”

“I see.”

“And you’re telling me you coughed them all up?” Kazunari’s gaze flickered down and away from his doctor who was currently standing before him, carefully scrutinizing a clipboard in hand.

“Y-Yes.”

“Hmm,” the doctor’s eyebrows furrowed deeper as he scribbled a comment down on his sheet before glancing up at his patient, “well, the flower tends to differ from person to person but there’s no mistaking it…” In one swift motion, the physician took a laminate sheet from the counter and pressed it up to the lightboard on the wall. Of course, Kazunari had no real medical knowledge but from one look of his lungs in the illuminated x-ray, even he could tell something was dreadfully wrong. “I am diagnosing you with hanahaki disease.”

 _Hanahaki_.

Kazunari had scarcely heard that term before—maybe only a few times in his life in passing. Yet something about the name alone made his heart plummet as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. The doctor tapped his pen against his clipboard before peering down from beneath his square-framed glasses, “are you familiar with this condition already?” The student’s eyes remained averted and the doctor took his silence as an admission to go on. “Well that’s not too surprising. It’s quite a rare phenomenon these days and as such, little research has been done… But what we do know is that this disease is one where a flower begins to grow and bloom in your lungs in tandem with unrequited love.” And at that, the doctor relaxed his shoulders and shot Kazunari a sympathetic look that unintentionally made him sick to his stomach. “How long have these symptoms been going on?”

Again, the boy shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He wrung his fingers together for a second as he thought, “f-for years… Since high school, I guess? I never really thought much about it, and I actually thought it kind of went away… well, until recently.” Kazunari noticed his doctor straighten up from the corner of his eye.

“From high school, you say?! Why, that’s fairly unprecedented… although certainly not the first case. But that does make one thing clear—your feelings haven’t changed from that time.”

“What do you mean?”

The doctor sighed, removing the glasses entirely before he continued with his explanation, “you see, the only way the hanahaki flower will receded is if your feelings of love are reciprocated. Other than that, it can never go away naturally—or at least there has never been a reported case.”

Kazunari’s chest clenched, causing him to grip at his shirt. His eyebrows furrowed as the grave reality began to sink in, “so… that means…"

“The fact that the flower inside you has laid dormant for a while is a sign that you may have put aside your feelings for some time. However, it was always there and something must have triggered it recently, seeing as it is evidently now growing rapidly.”

_Feelings of love? Always there? Ever since high school?_

_Unrequited_.

The feeling of nausea only grew as Kazunari’s head began to spin at the heavy weight of the new information. “I-is there really no way to remove the flower?”

_Wait… does that mean he was doomed to suffocate to death?_

It took all effort within him not to puke right then and there all over the sterile clinic tiles.

“Actually, fortunately, there is an operation available that can surgically remove the flower.”

Kazunari nearly leapt out of his seat, “then—!!"

“—However, there are a few… _side effects_ involved.” The doctor’s lips pursed into a hard line, causing Kazunari to shrink back down onto his metal stool. “Again, little research has been done so no one fully understands the true cause, but it seems the permanent removal of the flower also results in the permanent removal of those feelings. And by that, I mean if you decide to surgically remove the flower, you will never come to love that same person again.” Dead silence fell over the room with only the low hum of the fluorescent lights filling the space as Kazunari could do nothing but sit back, stunned at the situation before him. Suddenly, the air started feeling unbearably thick and even simply inhaling and exhaling felt difficult against the panic that was slowly building up within him.

“B-but I—I didn’t even know… I was in love with someone?!” If he was trying to hide it before, Kazunari’s doctor’s mask broke as his surprise was now shown plain on his face at his patient’s confession.

“T-that—! I have never heard of such a case before! …But yes, hmmm…,” the man managed to compose himself from his momentary lapse and placed a hand to his chin, “that could definitely explain your prolonged symptoms and how the flower has endured for so long. Your mind may not have realized, but your heart always knew.”

“My heart… knew…?” And as if those words were a trigger, like a swift gush of wind blowing past, the sudden imagine of a memory long buried away—the spring sunshine and a vivid smile against a wash of flurrying pink petals—flashed before Kazunari’s wide emerald eyes. And was gone as soon as it came.

“—Well in some ways, that makes the removal much easier. You can’t miss what you don’t even remember.”

“Wait…”

“Ah yes, Kazunari?”

“Wait… I don’t want the surgery.”

“E-excuse me?”

“I don’t want the surgery… not yet. I still have time right, doc?”

“Err, let me see,” the doctor quickly scanned through the test results in his hand once again and gave a stiff nod, “your condition isn’t exactly acute yet so technically you could continue your daily life for now. But it would be quite dangerous—”

“It’s ok. I want to wait.”

“Kazunari…” the doctor shook his head, lowering his arms as he stared at the boy in front of him who now stared back resolutely.

“I actually… might have an idea who it is… But I just need to talk… to make sure. Please, just give me this chance, doc.”

Unable to say no in the face of such determination, Kazunari’s doctor sighed. But he nodded, nonetheless. “Alright, I’ll allow it. But you must promise me to come by for regular check-ups on your condition. And if I deem it too risky to go on, you must comply with the surgery. You understand?”

“Y-yes, of course. Thanks.”

“But you are one hundred percent positive of this decision?”

“Yes,” Kazunari breathed, “to think that I would never love that person again… is sad… but to give up on this precious person before they could even give me a chance… that’s even sadder, isn’t it?”

* * *

“Tsuzuroon! Over here!!” Kazunari waved from his table near the window. A few days had passed and the two finally found the time to coordinate a casual meet-up at a small diner near the waterside. Tsuzuru made his way over and pulled out the chair on the opposite side of the small table to sit down.

“Wow, this place looks great! To think I’ve never heard of it before,” the younger commented as he glanced around at the fresh, stylish décor and picked up the menu.

“Honestly, it’s my first time here too,” Kazunari replied with a laugh. He then turned to flash a smirk and a wink, “but you can always count on my sources for the hottest spots in town!”

“In other words, you chose this place just because it looked instablammable, didn’t you?”

“How’d you know?”

Tsuzuru couldn’t help but chuckle as he ordered a black coffee from a nearby waiter who strolled by, “and no, I’m not giving you a pity like this time.”

“Hey wait—I didn’t even get the chance to ask yet!”

“Exactly.”

* * *

The pair took their time chatting and catching up as they filled up on their light lunches. At the other’s persistent curiosity, Tsuzuru began to explain all about his new gig as a scriptwriter and actor in his new theatre company.

“So, you’re telling me they successfully recruited you off the street by offering you curry and a place to sleep. Umm, ok,” Kazunari nodded slowly, but made no effort to hide the skepticism in his voice.

“Look, I know it sounds sketchy when I say it like that but it was honestly fine!!” The writer’s voice cracked in defence, hands raised up to his chest as the two exited the restaurant together. “I mean, my bratty roommate hasn’t murdered me in my sleep yet so that’s a good sign… I think.”

“Alright, as long as you say so, Tsuzuroon,” Kazunari clicked his tongue and shrugged, skipping on ahead. As he reached the end of the pier, Kazunari turned around and leaned back against the railing that separated him and the ocean lapping at the dock below. “ _Anyways_ , if you’re that into it then maybe I should audition too!”

“Huh?” The younger’s eyes widened as he caught up to the other, “I didn’t know you were interested in acting too?”

“Well, I’m not exactly,” the blonde boy shrugged again, but this time with a sparking glimmer in his eye, “but it might help me on my road to becoming a UMC!”

“A what?”

“An Ultra-Multi-Creator!!”

“A what?”

“ _Stooop_ ,” Kazunari whined as he leaned forward to punch his friend on the arm, “but honestly I’m not quite sure either, haha. Guess we’ll find out since I’ll be the first ever one!”

“ _Haah_ … I give up!!” Tsuzuru suddenly exclaimed with a huge sigh. He stepped forward to bury his face into his arms on the space on the railing right beside Kazunari. “That’s so like you,” the brown-haired boy muttered, voice partially muffled by his olive jacket sleeve. Kazunari swiveled his body so he could eye Tsuzuru.

“Hmmm, what? Don’t think that I can make it?”

“No. No, that’s not it,” Tsuzuru responded. And without another word, he slowly raised his head from his spot. But instead of looking back, the writer’s face was fixed towards the ocean, verdant eyes focused solely on the horizon. A misty breeze blew past, ruffling and pushing back his hair slightly. The corners of his lips pulled upwards into a knowing smile, like he was looking back into a memory. “No, since it’s you—only since it’s you—I know you can.” Taking a moment to bask in the fresh air, Tsuzuru then turned to face the other. And in that split moment of eye-contact, Kazunari’s heart missed a beat. And the next thing he knew he was already falling over, hand to his throat as another cough attack jolted through him full force.

“Kazu?!” Tsuzuru yelped in alarm as he immediately dropped down to wrap his arm around the other’s trembling shoulders in support. However, he became even more alarmed when he noticed a growing number of scarlet petals collecting in Kazunari’s clenched fists, falling into a pile on the wooden deck beneath them. “Th-this… this is…”

“Tsu-tsuzu…”

“ _Hanahaki?_ ” Tsuzuru could scarcely believe his eyes. He had come across and read about the disease a little when he had done some writing reference research in the past, but to see it really happening before his very eyes was somehow both down-right fantastical and utterly frightening at the same time. The brown-haired boy could do nothing but grip his friend’s shoulder tightly as eventually the coughing came to a stuttering, unsteady stop. Kazunari let the rest of the petals fall from his palms before he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. The art student chuckled, but the sound was pathetically hollow, even to his own ears.

“Yeah… it’s hanahaki, alright.”

“Are you actually serious?” Tsuzuru urged, “how long as this been going on?!”

“Um, since high school, I guess.”

“S-since then?! I mean I’m no expert, but you’re telling me a flower has been growing inside you for that long? And nothing has been done? Why didn’t you tell me?!” At this, Kazunari had no retort.

“Well, it’s not that simple… The thing is, I wasn’t even entirely aware I was even in love with someone. But now that I know, I just wanted to confirm it…” Tsuzuru’s eyes snapped open wider if that was even possible. In desperation, he clasped both Kazunari’s shoulders and forcefully turned the other male towards him, accidentally shaking him with the action.

“How is that even possible?! That’s nuts, Kazu!! You gotta remove it!”

“N-no!” At the vehement dismissal, Tsuzuru snapped out of his daze. He blinked and softened, grip loosening as he willed himself calm amidst the dire situation.

“Kazu, you can’t live like this.”

Guilt wracked at Kazunari’s heart as he couldn’t find the strength to meet Tsuzuru’s gaze, “I won’t, I-I can’t. I can’t remove it yet. If I remove it now, then I’ll lose all the precious feelings I’ve held for this person for so long. I know it sounds stupid but if my heart tells me that I love them, I don’t want to lose them… Not before I’ve even asked them to give me a chance—!” The end of Kazunari’s sentence was cut off as he coughed up a few more stray petals. Tsuzuru shifted closer to cradle his quivering frame. A silence fell between the two for a brief moment before Tsuzuru eventually spoke up, his voice now gentle as he gazed down at the man in his arms who had been too strong for too long.

“You know, the fact that you can be so dedicated to the things you love… and the goals that you’re so passionate about… that’s what I’ve always admired about you. Ever since high school.”

Kazunari wiped his eye, “T-Tsuzu…”

“Even now, even now when it’s suffocating you, the fact that you can’t just give up on the one you love… well, what can I say to that?” Then Tsuzuru offered a resigned smile, “whoever it is, they must be the luckiest person in the world.” And with that, the writer took Kazunari’s hand and carefully eased his friend up to his feet, “alright, let’s get you up now.”

Squeezing the large hand in his tight, for the first time in a long time, Kazunari felt like maybe the weight of the world wasn’t so heavy after all. He couldn’t contain the chuckle that escaped him as his usual bravado gradually returned. “Thanks. I just hope they feel the same way… you know, haha… _or else_.”

Tsuzuru choked, sputtering, as he shot the other an indignant look, “a-are you seriously joking around with me right now? I was seriously worried about you here!”

“Hey, go easy on me. I’m dying over here!”

“ _Kazu._ ”

“Ok, ok, I’m sorry.”

“…”

“…Deadass though.”

“ _THAT’S IT!!_ ” Tsuzuru cried, throwing his hands up in exasperation, “I don’t even know why I bother with you anymore!” Tsuzuru abruptly spun on his heel. Kazunari unconsciously braced himself for the younger to storm off.

But with a huff, Tsuzuru merely crouched back down and began carefully collecting the scattered petals on the ground.

With his lips parted slightly in surprise, Kazunari could only watch as Tsuzuru muttered something about “always causing him trouble” and “not littering on public property” to himself under his breath, all the while diligently tidying up the mess the elder had caused without even being told to.

“Yeah,” Kazunari confirmed to himself with his hands clasped behind his back—only fondness in his eyes, “it’s you, Tsuzuru. It’s always been you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO WHO ELSE IS IN ACT 3 HELL RIGHT NOW CAUSE *POINTS TO SELF*
> 
> ANYWAYS, I'm really aiming for the next update to be the last so let's gooo!!!
> 
> Thank you all for reading!!


	4. Chapter 4

Tsuzuru took another swig of black coffee from his mug, scrunching his nose at the acrid after taste when he realized it had already gone cold. He sighed and leaned back in his chair, stretching his arms above his head as his bleary eyes scanned over the recently written lines on his laptop screen. The clock off to the side read 3AM.

This was standard though as he had been assigned with starting the next script for his theatre company. And due to the way he worked, he always found himself pulling all-nighters whether he intended to or not. It wasn’t the healthiest habit for sure, but he really couldn’t help it.

When Tsuzuru was struck with an idea, and when the flow felt just perfect and he really got going, the boy would unconsciously enter a writing frenzy zone, time all but blurring around him as his fingers typed furiously, trying to cram all he could down into his draft before his muse inevitably escaped him.

And the playwright would continue to work and work until he finally came to (god knows how many hours after) on the verge of blacking out, but always with a complete script in hand.

However, tonight was different.

The reason Tsuzuru found himself still up this late, blinking tiredly at the irritatingly bright screen before him wasn’t because inspiration had suddenly struck him, but that the ideas just _weren’t_ flowing as they should. So he had been gritting his teeth, willing himself awake as he desperately scrambled to scribble something—anything—coherently usable down.

And if he were being honest, this wasn’t the first night he had felt this way. “Maybe it really is writer’s block…,” the writer mused to himself glumly. Shaking his head, Tsuzuru glanced over at his phone sitting on his desk and picked it up—totally not hoping a new LIME message had suddenly popped up unbeknownst to him.

Nope.

He was just checking, like any normal person.

Totally.

But when the tired boy was met once again with a blank screen, he couldn’t help but groan and all but slam the device back down in its previous spot. A couple of weeks passed and Kazunari had barely contacted him since the incident at the pier. Of course, it had been rather peaceful for Tsuzuru to not be bombarded with random, meaningless texts like “hey, did you know art used to by an Olympic event?” every day from morning to night. But considering what happened, he was naturally worried for his friend.

Yeah, that’s right. _Worried_. That’s all. Just like any other person would be, really.

That’s why he had tried to invite the other out again, several times since then—only to be shot down every time with a cheerful sounding, “really busy with a project, sorry!! I’ll talk to you soon, Tsuzuroon!!” followed by a slew of cutesy animal stickers.

It shouldn’t bother him, it really shouldn’t. In fact, he should be glad for the other. Kazunari was clearly still doing his best in school and from the lighthearted tone in his replies, if Tsuruzu had to guess, it was a clear sign that Kazunari was doing well. Which could only mean one thing… he had found his lucky person. And not only that, things were progressing well for them too.

It had to be.

It just made sense.

Because Kazunari was such a great guy.

At the thought, Tsuzuru felt his heart plummeting in a way he couldn’t explain. And as he tried picturing his senpai smiling, hand-in-hand with another, his chest began to throb even more. Before his mood took an even bigger dive, Tsuzuru quickly snapped out of it with a light slap to his cheeks.

_No, no, he should be glad!_

Kazunari was out there rushing forward and accomplishing everything he claimed he would, like he always did.

Kazunari was out there running ahead, like he always did… Just far enough ahead that Tsuzuru could never truly catch up to him even if he tried.

“Yeah… some things never change,” Tsuzuru chuckled to himself as he leaned back and pushed his bangs back with one hand. Bit by bit, memories from high school and Kazunari’s effect on him, even when he was gone, played back like a slow reel.

* * *

Tsuzuru’s footsteps were heavy as he trudged home. His overstuffed backpack was slung over one shoulder as he read over the document in his hand. It was an acceptance letter from Yosei University.

The current high school senior had applied on a whim, not actually sure if he’d even get in with his mediocre grades. But now here he was, with proof in his hand that the option now open to him if he chose to take it—or if he even _could_. A faint frown pulled at the corner of his lips as Tsuzuru’s thoughts drifted back to his family and his responsibilities as one of the oldest brothers in the Minagi household. Of course, he loved his family dearly and he would never blame them for anything, but the undisputable truth was that because of their situation, pursuing his own dreams felt more and more like an impossibility—especially since his two older brothers had already left the house, leaving him as the sole de facto babysitter for the younger ones. Feeling his frown deepen, Tsuzuru tried to shrug off his gloom, stuffed the paper back into his bag and jogged the rest of the way home.

That night, Tsuzuru’s oldest brother had come home to visit. Dinner was lively as usual and after cleaning up, Tsuzuru retreated back to his room.

After a few minutes, he heard a knock on the door. The student furrowed his eyebrows, knowing that if it was one of his younger brothers they’d just barge in without warning. “It’s Tadoru,” the voice behind the door called out.

 _Ah, his older brother_.

“Come in,” Tsuzuru answered back. The door opened and closed with a creak.

“I know you got accepted into university.”

Tsuzuru looked up from his book, “huh? How?”

“Call it brotherly instinct,” his brother replied with a grin—and then with sheepish eyes, “or I saw the letter sticking out of your backpack when you left it in the living room?”

Tsuzuru rolled his eyes, “don’t look through my stuff.”

“Well, are you accepting?”

“Huh?”

“You should go,” Tadoru simply stated. At this, Tsuzuru closed his novel and set it aside, staring straight at his brother’s serious expression.

“Y-You know I can’t. Who’s going to look after the little ones? And then there’s tuition and—”

“You can and you will,” his brother cut him off abruptly. At the younger’s visibly disapproving expression, Tadoru softened. “Look Tsuzuru. I know how hard you’ve been working for this family—we all do. But I also know you have your own dreams too.” Tadoru’s gaze flickered towards the stacks of manuscripts sitting by Tsuzuru’s desk and the high school student couldn’t help but flush, suddenly feeling guilty and exposed. But Tadoru merely smiled back, continuing on, “if it’s about the family expenses then don’t worry, I’ve got a job now and I’m planning to send money back. And as for the little ones, let the fourth brother down take the reins, eh?”

Tsuzuru shot back a sharp look, “he’s still too young!” But Tadoru merely shrugged.

“You were younger when you took over.”

Tsuzuru opened his mouth but quickly shut it, not having any real retort to that. Sitting in silence, his brother’s words slowly began to sink in and Tsuzuru honestly had no idea how to feel. All his life he had more or less resigned himself to putting his own wants aside for the good of the others. But yet, if he was being completely honest with himself, he always had a hope. A small sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe, one day he could break away and be free fulfil his own desires.

But it was a completely and utterly selfish wish—that much he recognized. So Tsuzuru swore to himself that he would always keep it to himself and never act on it.

Although he had caved, even before he realized it. There was one person he told. Kazunari knew, after their talk on the rooftop that day. Kazunari had been there patiently listening to him, accepting him, and even supporting him despite this unsightly side he never wanted to show. And maybe that, Tsuzuru now realized, was the moment it all started.

It was from that moment that Kazunari’s light began shining and giving life to his own dream. So much so it caused him to apply for university, even if his instincts told him it was impossible—so much so he had carelessly left his bag with the letter out in the open which, thinking now if not Tadoru, then one of his other snoopy brothers was bound to find anyways.

Maybe the thought of Kazunari going out there himself against all odds to achieve his dreams made Tsuzuru want to chase after him and do the same, even if the other was already gone one step ahead of him.

With this newfound conviction in mind, Tsuzuru simply told his brother that he’d think about it, and the rest was history.

* * *

Focusing back to the present, Tsuzuru smiled at the poignant memory. But that was that, and this was this.

Now, not just his dreams, Kazunari was running towards love. And even if the end goal was different, to know that the other was still passionately giving it his all after all this time, reassured Tsuzuru once and for all that the other had never changed. And likely never would.

He would always be the same Miyoshi Kazunari that had barged into his life without permission and crashed down everything he had built up like an unstoppable wave.

He would always be the same Miyoshi Kazunari that Tsuzuru loved so much.

Wait.

No.

_Love?_

_Hell no._

He did not just think that.

It was time to sleep. Yeah. It’s late; his mind was going crazy.

Sleep will help him forget about what he just thought. Yeah. He’ll forget all about it tomorrow.

Goodnight.

* * *

Except he did not forget all about it tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the day after that.

* * *

To say that Tsuzuru was going through a life crisis was an understatement. The bags under his eyes were so dreadfully dark and prominent that even his roommate, who hadn’t given the slightest shit about him since they moved in, reached out in concern. “Um, are… you sure you’re ok?”

“Huh? Y-Yeah, Masumi. Don’t worry,” Tsuzuru stuttered weakly, trying (but failing) to keep his tone upbeat and _totally fine_. His younger troupe mate narrowed his violet eyes for a second before sighing and leaving for school for the day.

“Don’t stay up too late again… your typing is too loud.”

“H-Huh? Yeah, sure,” Tsuzuru replied again, clearly not registering the other’s shallow complaint at all as one word, the same damn word, kept echoing through his head.

_Love._

“OH MY GOD!!” Tsuzuru screamed once he knew he was alone, “I’M IN LOVE WITH MIYOSHI KAZUNARI.”

As much as he tried to deny it at first—blaming that mental confession as a mere intrusive thought in his sleep-deprived state—the more Tsuzuru tried to rationalize it, the more he realized… well… it actually made some kind of sense? Not just in his mind, but in his heart.

As much as he wanted to deny it, Kazunari definitely meant a lot to him. He cared for him, he admired him, and he always wanted him to succeed. And as much as Tsuzuru wanted to deny it, maybe the other’s wide smile and teasing winks _were_ pretty cute. It was a wonder how Tsuzuru had been on the receiving end of them for so long, yet never even realized that fact. But now here he was, blushing like a fool alone in his room as he recalled the countless times his senpai would clutch his arm tightly out of nowhere or drag him out to the _new hot spot in town_ where Tsuzuru would always (begrudgingly) have a good time because it was the other who was there with him, making him laugh.

“Oh god,” Tsuzuru whimpered as his face fell to bury into his hands, “I’M THE DENSEST, STUPIDEST IDIOT ON EARTH.”

Now, maybe the younger of the two could’ve been happy—even just a little—at the newfound revelation except for the other more pressing issue that, “oh my god, but Kazu is in love with someone else already! And things are going well for them, aren’t they?! Oh god, there’s no place for me at all. I’m doomed.”

To make matters even worse, another exponentially more dire thought popped into Tsuzuru’s already frazzled mind causing the blood to drain from his face. “Wait, I love Kazunari, but Kazunari loves someone else… Doesn’t that mean my feelings are unrequired? Doesn’t that mean… I could get h-hanahaki too?!” As if the downward spiral he had already suffered wasn’t enough, Tsuzuru felt the final rug being yanked out from under him as he was suddenly faced with the only two possible options available: either somehow get Kazunari to love him back, or remove his feelings for him altogether.

A massive lump had developed in Tsuzuru’s throat at the prospect of either choice. There was no way he would ever purposefully sabotage Kazunari’s happiness like that. But at the same time, the thought of these meaningful feelings he’s developed towards the other disappearing forever scared him to death.

On pure instinct, and with shaking hands, Tsuzuru picked up his phone and did the only right thing he knew he could do in that moment.

* * *

“I’m participating in an exhibition tomorrow but I’ll be free when it ends! So drop by and we can talk then!” Kazunari’s fleeting comment echoed in Tsuzuru’s mind as he made his way to the address the art student had sent him.

Yesterday in his panic, Tsuzuru ended up dialing and calling Kazunari’s number, desperate for a chance to talk and explain the situation to him. It just felt right. Especially because it concerned him, Tsuzuru couldn’t possibly keep these feelings to himself. Kazunari had the right to know.

Furthermore, on a more unconscious and personal level, Tsuzuru also wanted the chance to confess properly. Perhaps it was selfish but damn it, Kazunari was the one who taught him to be selfish. So even if it was futile in the end, and even if it ended up hurting him immensely, simply gathering his courage for a chance to be completely honest with himself and the other was enough for him. With that, no matter what happened, the writer knew he would have no regrets.

Tsuzuru slowly climbed the sleek staircase up to the entrance of the grand hall. He pushed open the heavy glass doors. It was already pretty late so inside was already rather empty. All patrons had already left, with only a few other Veludo Arts students here and there cleaning up and neatly setting aside their installations for the night. A few of the overhead lights were already switched off, but Tsuzuru had no difficulty weaving his way across the dimly lit floor until he found the person he was looking for.

And when Tsuzuru’s eyes did land on him, he froze. There Kazunari was, back to him as he was crouched, finishing packing up the last of his belongings.

And It was amazing how that sight of a simple hat and blue jacket could look so familiar, yet new at the same time. Even though Tsuzuru must’ve gazed at the same sight countless times, now knowing that that back belonged to the one he loved, but also couldn’t have, made Tsuzuru feel like crying on the spot. But he managed to push aside his feelings when the other finally stood up and turned around.

When their eyes met, Kazunari beamed, “Tsuzuroon!! You made it!”

Tsuzuru swallowed hard, “y-yeah. H-Hey, Kazu.” The brown-haired boy scolded himself on the inside, but his shaky tone made Kazunari’s smile fall from his face. A gentle, unreadable gleam settled into his emerald eyes.

A tense silence fell upon the two and Tsuzuru could feel his palms become sweaty as his anxiety at the situation and what he was about to say skyrocketed. _There was no going back now. Just say it, Tsuzuru. Just say it before it’s too late. Just say it—_

But before he could even open his mouth to begin, Kazunari cut in with his own voice which was uncharacteristically low and warm, “Tsuzuru… I know.”

At those words, as if a dam had been broken, Tsuzuru burst with everything he had been holding back all at once, “oh god you already know. I am so sorry. _I AM SO SORRY_. I won’t get between you and your special person, I swear. It’ll hurt—it’ll hurt so badly but if I get hanahaki I’ll go through with the surgery. Just promise me you’ll still be my friend, _please._ ”

“I’m sorry, Tsuzuru. But I can’t do that.”

The writer’s mouth shut at once. This was the worst-case scenario. He had planned for it—expected it on some level even—but still, hearing those words actually being spoken to him cut him deeper than he thought possible. However, Tsuzuru knew well that he could do nothing but accept it.

As his mind was already beginning to spiral downwards, an unexpected chuckle brought him back out of the hole and back to reality. Tsuzuru’s eyes snapped up to see Kazunari spinning back around again, face peeking back with an airy smile.

“Say, how do you think I know though?”

“H-Huh?”

“You see, at my latest check-up my doctor actually told me some great news. My hanahaki symptoms were retreating. So, you know what that means? The person I love, loves me back.”

 _Um yeah, obviously?_ Tsuzuru thought bitterly to himself, cursing himself again for feeling this way. The fact the younger’s downcast gaze now refused to meet the other’s made Kazunari click his tongue and shrug his shoulders.

“You still don’t get it, do you? Well, that’s fine. That's why I prepared this…,” Kazunari walked up to a large canvas that was draped over with a huge white sheet standing just behind him. His footsteps echoed across the empty hall before he came to a stop and tightly gripped the edge of the fabric. In one swift, billowing motion, Kazunari pulled it off and away.

The sight that met Tsuzuru really did make him cry.

There before him was a painting of a familiar looking boy wearing a familiar brown blazer, smiling as he stood juxtaposed against a sea of raining cherry blossoms—each one painted with the care and delicacy that even with immense talent, must’ve taken countless hours of meticulous dedication to even begin to create.

“It’s you, Tsuzuru. It’s always been you. Even when we were apart, my heart always knew. I actually planned to use this painting to confess but… then I got my test results back. And now we’re both here—both here without hanahaki. Now what could that mean…?”

Tsuzuru’s heart thumped in his chest. Then he burst. “THIS IS UNFAIR!!” He then spun on his heel, wiping at his dewy eyes that had begun to overflow.

“ _Whaaa—?_ ” Kazunari stepped back in shock, “I worked extra, extra hard on this just so I could—”

“It’s not fair,” the younger interrupted. He sniffed, attempting to compose himself, “you’re _always_ one step ahead of me. Even now you’re the one who got to confess first before I could do anything!”

At that, Kazunari couldn’t help but burst out laughing, walking over to wrap his arms around the other from behind. He grinned as he rested his cheek against the other’s warm back. “Well _, to be fair_ , I’ve been holding onto these feelings for years and you only realized you liked me back like, what, two weeks ago?”

“ _Stoooop,_ ” the brown-haired boy whined. He turned his face slightly, only to be met with Kazunari’s bright and adoring eyes aimed straight at him, shooting through his heart in a way he had only dreamed was possible

“So, I was right?”

“Don’t you know the answer already?!”

“Aww, come on. That’s no fun!” Kazunari pouted, “I want to hear you say it!!”

Tsuzuru looked away and sighed. With a few deep breaths, he finally twisted around, Kazunari releasing him from his embrace as he turned. When the two men were standing before each other, Tsuzuru summoned all the strength he had to take the other’s hands in his, holding them up as he stared straight into Kazunari’s eyes. His own eyes were sure to be puffy and his cheeks were sure to be flushed bright red beyond compare by now, but like hell if he cared as he took a final deep breath and spoke. “Miyoshi Kazunari, you are crazy. I can’t understand you half the time… and I definitely don’t have the energy to keep up with all your crazy whims… But everything aside, I know who you are. You are and always have been that kind, talented, stubbornly passionate guy I met all the way back in high school. And now I know… that I love you.”

Kazunari’s eyes widened as he was rendered speechless in the face of such genuine sincerity. Watching the older’s cheeks suddenly flush a delicate pink as his usual confident gaze flickered down shyly was all it took for Tsuzuru to finally close the distance and lean in to capture the other’s lips in his.

And that kiss felt like the freshest breath of air either had ever taken. Kazunari couldn’t help but clutch at Tsuzuru’s shoulders, utterly intoxicated by the life that was breathed into him from the feeling of Tsuzuru’s soft lips gliding over his. In response, Tsuzuru wrapped his arms around Kazunari’s slender waist, pulling the two ever closer as both understood perfectly that from that moment on, they would always, always be connected—just like they always had been from the very beginning.

And after what felt like a lifetime, the couple finally pulled apart, panting heavily against their racing hearts. Even in his thoroughly disheveled state, Kazunari couldn’t help but smirk, “so… when are the auditions for your theatre company again?”

Tsuzuru laughed and shook his head. And with the brightness of sunshine radiating off the smile on his face, Tsuzuru’s only answer was to lean in for another smothering kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay we've finally reached the end!! Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who has made it this far!!!
> 
> Again, it's been a looong time since I've written a fic like this so it was as fun as it was a struggle haha
> 
> And yes, I've heard the complaints so I'll consider writing something fluffier after this (but we'll see?)
> 
> Until next time, thank you all again for reading and supporting!! It honestly means so much ❤❤❤


	5. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> little bonus scene I debated whether to add or not but what the heck, why not
> 
> +10 sankaku points if you caught the references~

“Thank you, thank you!!” Kazunari yelled from his spot on stage, blowing out a few kisses from under the dazzling spotlight. The fully filled audience in front of him and his fellow troupe mates cheered endlessly as they all stood up for a standing ovation.

* * *

Backstage was hectic as fellow castmates and family members alike flooded the tight space with their warm congratulations on a job well done.

Kazunari snapped a few quick group photos before slinking off to unwind in the summer troupe’s dressing room. When he arrived, the new actor immediately spotted a large bouquet of a mix of red roses and hibiscus flowers sitting perfectly perched on his chair.

With an adoring smile, he brought it into his arms, hugging it as he inhaled the sweet scent. Suddenly, an idea popped into his head.

* * *

Tsuzuru knocked on the dressing room door and entered when he heard his boyfriend’s voice call out to him. His eyes immediately zeroed in on the bouquet he had sent beforehand as a surprise, sitting by the mirror. “Oh good, it arrived safely!” But his gaze automatically tuned back as he noticed Kazunari standing alone in the center of the room, hands in his pockets and a bright red hibiscus blossom sitting between his lips.

Tsuzuru’s eyes widened for a moment before he understood and stepped forward, plucking the flower from its spot to tuck it prettily behind Kazunari’s ear. “No need to kiss a mouth full of petals when I love you this much.” Kazunari’s eyes twinkled as reached up to wrap his arms around his boyfriend's neck.

“Hmmm, I was just testing you. You never know, right?”

“No, I know,” Tsuzuru responded back in a heartbeat, “that I’m the luckiest person in the world.”

And with that, they stole another kiss (or two, or three) before all the others, in their loud, rambunctious glory, would inevitably come barging in and ruin the moment.

But these two didn’t mind so much.

Because this show would go on and on forever.


End file.
